my wishes...

today is my 25th birthday.
all this while i really don't do 'close your eyes.think of a wish and blow the candle..'
anyhow i still got some wishes to be fulfilled.
:: in the process of getting my first car. hope to get the car before Ramadhan.
:: hope i have more free time to continue writing my novel..:: then publish it.
:: make my parents proud of me n being happy always..
:: maybe looking around for a 'Landon Carter (A walk to remember)' who might help me to fulfil my wishes..haha..

was it love or crush or foolishness??

"If I fall along the way, pick me up and dust me off
If I get too tired to make it, be my breath so I can walk..
When my smile gets old and faded
wait around i'll smile again..
I started out clean but I'm jaded.."


i think its a tragedy i would never ever forget for my whole life. after 14 years of searching, it is not only in vain, it kills me inside. still remember our 'short' childhood memories, eating in the cafeteria and talk about anything we want..


finally i have the courage to add this boy's photo whom i lost along the way. i hate to say this, but if he's still alive, i wonder if he ever remember me. and i hope he would. Allah, please bless him...al - Fatihah

stories of 4 kenanga >> part 1

im writing this not to blame anyone.yes.no one. im writing based on my own experience. this 4 kenanga is a class which i teach. because school streaming has been so popular in Malaysia, so this school also practises it. this 4 Kenanga is the 'last class' of its level. it is the lowest-achievement class. and because im teaching english to them, the subject most of them hate, i have to try my very very best. plus give them a lot of motivation n encouragement.

i started teaching this class with frustration. i talked in front, they talked at the back. within three seconds i turned my back at them, they were walking all around the class. i'm sick of having to pinch them or hit their young hands with a ruler.im really really sick.

so i started to do reward systems in the class. i give them stars when they answer questions. sometimes i give them sweets for behaving in class. it works...unfortunately, not to all of them.

There's this boy,sitting in front of the class, beginning his first days of school without having any exercise books. and that he didn't even try to do the exercises i gave him..so i asked him. he kept quiet and his friends said that his mother didn't have the money. so i bought him a book. later, i noticed that he actually did the exercises i gave him. so they must be true,, the friends.

SPP interview / temuduga SPP 2009

Part 3

soalan - soalan berbentuk fakta...
antaranya,

-Penyata Razak (nasib baik terbaca and betul tahun keluarnya)
bab huraian yg kurang sikit
-Kaitkan penyata Razak dan PIPP
-kemahiran mengajar BI di sekolah
-taksonomi Bloom (ni yg terlupa sebenarnya...)
-berikan penjajah - penjajah yg pernah menjajah tanah melayu (dah betul 4 nie - Portugis, Belanda, Inggeris dan Jepun but tersilap bab susunan)

anyhow, i still pray for the best... U should check out SPP website for Panduan Temuduga SPP.
Good luck to everyone...

SPP interview / temuduga SPP 2009

Part 2

Actually i expected that i would be asked in English for the whole interview but it turned out that the interviewer asked me questions in Malay.
the first 10 minutes (approximately), he asked questions about my personal life, about family and all that.
and suddenly he asked me whether i want if he matchmake me with his son. He must be kidding, though...

he did ask opinions on these issues:

"Jika awak dah berkahwin, berapa banyak duit belanja yang awak benarkan suami awak beri pada ibu bapanya" so I said, about 1/3 of his salary. he said "U must be a good wife someday" =P

"apabila seorang lelaki berkahwin dgn seorang perempuan itu, adakah patut lelaki itu berpindah mengikut isterinya? atau isteri yg perlu berpindah mengikut suaminya?"
then i answered, " it depends on individuals..then bla bla bla"
then he seemed like he did not totally agree with me. then i said,"but in Islam, it's the wife who has to live with her husband, so the wife should transfer to her husband's place." then i see he smiled and nodded.

then he checked my "Borang maklumat tambahan" and asked," is this your handwriting?" Of course...

"I know how to 'read' handwriting'," he said suddenly. really?

" awak ni seorang yang ada kesungguhan tetapi ada kalanya awak cepat panik," that was his interpretation. it must be because i looked so panic when i walked into the room.

Next part

it's already 1 am.i'm going to bed now.i'll share the next part of my experience during spp interview tomorrow.InsyaAllah...

SPP interview / temuduga SPP 2009

Part 1
the session started at 7.30 am but i arrived a bit late. it was 7.40 am when i reached Bhgn Teknologi Pendidikan JB that morning. 1st July 2009. tarikh ni yg plg menakutkan sejak mula2 sy cek website spp. thank God i attended the spp interview with a friend from my school. so i could share all the 'short of breath' and 'heart stopping' moments with her.

at first, all my limbs trembled everytime i glanced at my watch and realized that we still couldn't find the interview room and that we couldn't find anyone to ask..luckily our eyes caught the sight of a direction board to get to the interview room. the room's name is bilik Terbilang.

the interviewer was Tn. Hj. Mokhy b. Saidon, bekas Pengarah Pelajaran Negeri Johor.

Is it still love?

I had written something about this one guy i've known 14 years ago. he was one of my precious childhood memories. i've let everything go when i couldn't reach him after trying so many times. however, in June this very year, i found out about something that completely sent a bullet right through my heart. I did everything i can to make sure that it was not a mistake.
This guy i've known for 14 years, this guy whom i've waited for so long to be able to at least receive a 'hi' from him... This guy had been taken away from me. he's been taken away from everything on this world. He's been taken away by Allah the Almighty...
God, please forgive me if i was once reluctant to accept this fate. I was just so sad.very very sad. i was in a very deep grief. at that time i think i finally feel this kind of sorrow from losing someone important. I cried for hours. and when i tried to eat something, i could hardly swallow the food. i couldn't even drink water like usual. everything turns upside down.
When night came, i couldn't get myself to sleep. and this situation lasted for a few days. it's not that i didn't try to make it stop. I just couldn't.